“I had a shower stool and a wheelchair, but today I am proud and extremely happy to say that I have recovered”

In the first part of 2016 I was a social and active 20-year-old girl. I really enjoyed working as a personal trainer, I had a boyfriend, was frequently working out and generally happy about my life.

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Stine Toppe Andersen

In the end of the summer, I got a serious virus infection and my body got weak. I went back and forward to the hospital and was thoroughly examined. At one point I was so weak that I could barely walk up the stairs at home.

After three months I started to feel better and went back to work. I couldn’t handle it and had to get 50% sick leave. During that winter I was fighting hard to get back to working full time again.

When spring came, I was finally back to working full time, but my body was fighting against me. Because of my stubbornness I didn’t want to give up right away and continued to push my body at work. I was not able to do anything else than work and rest. Every night after work I was dreading the next day and questioned how I was supposed to get through it.

The shut down

Right before Easter 2017 my body shut down completely. I collapsed on the bathroom floor and had to lie there for an hour before my boyfriend got home and carried me into bed. After that my body did not recover. I only managed two hours at work before I had to go home and rest, I usually spent half of the day in bed. In the beginning of the summer of 2017, I was diagnosed with ME by my GP and Haukeland hospital.

The following year I just got sicker. I spent my days on the sofa and in bed. I could barely tolerate light and sound. And no matter how much I rested my body could not restore more energy. I got a shower stool, kitchen chair and wheelchair. My GP did not know what to do. My mom was helping with the housework, and friends came over and washed my hair occasionally. On my worst days I couldn’t do a thing. I would lie in bed feeling my terribly painful lying position, without the energy to move.

The loss, the sorrow and the fear

I was now 21 years old and had lost a huge part of my life. While my friends were studying, working and travelling, I was in my bed, resting. This was so hard on me. I worried about the future. I lost contact with many people and felt sorrow for all the things my condition had taken from me. I went for a stay at Haugland Rehabilitation Centre, but I was too weak to participate in the activities. I barely did anything, and still I got worse and had to go back home, cutting my stay short. I was so afraid to push my limits because I had read that it could make me worse. I had the impression there was no cure, and saw my life falling apart. The doctors had nothing more to offer. I had a hard time believing I would ever get better again.

I had heard stories about people who had gone through the Lightning process course and gotten sicker. I read on the Internet that attendees had been told to just ignore ME-symptoms and live like healthy persons. After the course you had to sign a paper saying you were recovered and that you would never talk about the disease again. That course I’d obviously stay away from, I thought to myself.

I was now 21 years old and had lost a huge part of my life. While my friends were studying, working and travelling, I was in my bed, resting. This was so hard on me

The turning point

When I had been sick for almost two years, my boyfriend came home one day and told me that he had met a person at work that recovered from ME after attending a course. I called this person and got a totally different story about the Lightning Process. He lit a spark in my soul, and I could see my health recovering again. A few days afterwards I had already signed up for the course and was very excited. I talked to the instructor before I went and felt that this was the right thing to do.

In august 2018 I attended a Lightning Process course with Live Landmark, and this was the turning point of my life. I was met with understanding and got a totally new perspective on the disease. I realised how I had done fatigue and only made myself worse. I had adopted destructive patterns where I laid down and expected to get worse after an activity. The anticipation that I would get worse in itself made me worse. I had been told that I should never use more that 70% of my energy, and so I was always scanning my body for fatigue and symptoms. When I was constantly searching for tiredness and pain, I would always feel it. This led to more concerns and stress reactions in my body – which only led to more symptoms.

The anticipation that I would get worse in itself made me worse

In the course I learned how to change this, and it provided me with a tool I could use when I had symptoms. The course was not like it was presented on the internet, and I could not understand where some of the stories came from. I was not told to just ignore my symptoms and push on; I learned a method I can use when I get ill – and it works. Lightning Process is not a miracle cure, it consists of some very good tools and demands work from the participant to change the destructive patterns. I had to really “go for it” after the course, but had good long term follow up after the course. The course is in no way dangerous, as I believed it to be in the beginning.

I got my life back

It is now 6 months since I attended the LP-course, and I have gotten my life back. I can do everything I want again, without getting sick afterwards. If I experience symptoms, I have tools which I use to get rid of them. I have recovered from using a wheelchair to the degree that I now walk 14.000 steps every day, and only feel normal tiredness in my legs in the evening. I have learned how to focus on the good feelings, and I have never felt better than now. My new habit is to take time to really connect to the good vibes inside of me and give myself credit for all the things I manage. I am now my own biggest fan and I am cheering for myself every day. LP has saved me from ME, and I am forever grateful that I got to hear the truth about what it really is. I think it is awful that the process is presented as something dangerous or just pseudoscience, and that so many misses out on the chance to realize what an amazing opportunity this really is.

The follow up after the course has been good! You get the chance to talk to the instructor at regular basis so that you can discuss all the hard stuff. Live really understood how I was feeling, she shared her own story and always had advice for me. It feels safe to know that she is there, if something happens and I get worse again – I know she can get me back on track if I need it.

Most importantly, I have learned how to empower myself. I am so proud of myself for the hard work and the results it has given me. I am proud and extremely happy to say, that today I am fully recovered.

AdultsFemaleME/CFSLightning process

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